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i don't know what to say..
words from people cannot affect me anymore..is that a good thing or bad thing?
sometimes i have difficulty let out of my feelings

Lord,open my ears to hear,open my eyes to see,and open my heart to feel.
A passion for learning more of you.
Help me to become a little student of you.


为什么委屈的眼泪很容易就跑出来？

I surrender.Help me to die good.

It has been a fantastic week!
I was being depressed and worried about myself at the beginning of this week, feeling ashamed of myself, and all kinds of accusation. I wasn't satisfied, don't know what I want..blah...
I’m so grateful that Ben has encouraged me with some sharp words and amazing testimonies...
Ever since 15,I'm totally ready to die for Jesus, I’ve always imagine myself being persecuted for the sake of gospel in middle east or some unreached area of the world. I can honestly say that I don't have any fear in me, i’m not afraid of death. I like what Ben said, you gonna die anyway, why not die for Jesus.
But today, God has inspired my view of dying for Jesus. What I've been thinking for the past 5 years was all about dying for God physically. But what I really need to die first is myself, the inner me. To die is to live. I need to surrender myself before the cross, and let myself die nakedly. I've been protecting or decorating myself too well before God and people, I try my best to look good outside and inside. By my own knowledge, I think what I’m doing is pleasing to God,i thought I had wisdom, I thought I’m living for Him.
But my God is a God of mercy and wisdom, He once again reminded me to just simply give up on "dressing" myself, because I’m making a mess here. Surrender myself, allow myself to die before His love, allow His hand to resurrect me, and give me strength to live.
I love you Jesus. Help me to die from the inside out, and then live outwardly by your love. I don't want selfish just want fish!!